sometimes in life, we may not get what we always wanted. we may decide, but He Himself sets our decision. its hard to be in this position. they are many things to consider. i have been trying hard to swallow this bitterness of life, but it seems such a wasted effort. i have always wanted to understand why am i to be in this state. someday i will understand. in this moment, my friends may not understand why am i behaving in this manner. perhaps, they were not in the same boat as me and they were not in my shoes. all i ask for is a time on my own, to reflect what have gone wrong. perhaps this is what we humans called it fate. yes its fate.
i feel like i am a candle; lighting up people's life but ended up being burned. i have been searching for a real companion. who is the one that can be by my side? who is the one that i can really rely on? who is the one whom can witness most of my tears than my smile and laughter?
the beach was my companion all this time. everytime when i need to let out this sorrowness, the beach have been my greatest help. by looking at the scenic scenery and watch the clear blue sky fade to a wonderful sunset, i realize that life has to move on. i just hope that i shall not have this kind of feelings anymore. its a burden letting out droplets of tears flowing out. the word loneliness came through my mind when i saw couples strolling by the beach and let the sky be their witness of their true love. and when friends rollerblading enjoying themselves letting out all happiness in them. but me, left me unsaid and sit on the rocks pondering how am i to accept the things that happened to me.
i will just let things in this way. i am so tired of pondering. please let me have the ease to decide. somehow, i will refresh on the things that i left behind. all i can say now, this is the worst day of my life again, and this is not the life i ordered.
humans, laugh at me for all you want. but remember god is always fair. someday, you will be laughed at. you and me may not know when is the ''someday''. but trust me, better believe in karma. things happened for a reason.
for those who has the same fate as me, don't be afraid to face it. god willing, we can achieve what we always wanted. patience is what you must have in your heart.
disclaimer
UPON A
TIME...